The Akond of Swat
by Edward Lear(In memory of the Schwartz cat - the real Akond of Swat)
Who or why or which or what,
Is the Akond of Swat
Is he tall or short or dark or fair?
Does he sit on a stool or a sofa or chair, or SQUAT,
The Akond of Swat?
Is he wise or foolish, young or old?
Does he drink his soup and his coffee cold, or HOT,
The Akond of Swat?
Does he sing or whistle, jabber or talk,
And when riding abroad does he gallop or walk, or TROT,
The Akond of Swat?
Does he wear a turban, a fez, or a hat?
Does he sleep on a mattress, a bed, or a mat, or a COT,
The Akond of Swat?
When he writes a copy in round-hand size,
Does he cross his T's and finish his I's with a DOT,
The Akond of Swat?
Can he write a letter concisely clear?
Without a speck or a smudge or smear, or BLOT,
The Akond of Swat?
Do his people like him extremely well?
Or do they, whenever they can, rebel, or PLOT,
At the Akond of Swat?
If he catches them then, either old or young,
Does he have them chopped in pieces or hung, or SHOT,
The Akond of Swat?
Do his people prig in the lanes or park?
Or even at times, when days are dark GAROTTE?
O the Akond of Swat?
Does he study the wants of his own dominion?
Or doesn't he care for public opinion a JOT,
The Akond of Swat?
To amuse his mind do his people show him
Pictures, or any one's last new poem, or WHAT,
For the Akond of Swat?
At night if he suddenly screams and wakes,
Do they bring him only a few small cakes, or a LOT,
For the Akond of Swat?
Does he live on turnips, tea, or tripe?
Does he like his shawl to be marked with a stripe, or a DOT?
The Akond of Swat?
Does he like to lie on his back in a boat
Like the lady that lived in that isle remote, SHALLOTT,
The Akond of Swat?
Is he quiet, or always making a fuss?
Is his steward a Swiss, a Swede, or a Russ, or a SCOT,
The Akond of Swat?
Does he like to sit by the calm blue wave?
Or sleep and snore in a dark green cave, or GROTT,
The Akond of Swat?
Does he drink small beer from a silver jug?
Or a bowl? or a glass? or a cup? or a mug? or a POT,
The Akond of Swat?
Does he wear a white tie when he dines with friends?
And tie it neat in a bow with ends, or a KNOT,
The Akond of Swat?
Does he like new creme and hate mince pies?
When he looks at the sun does he wink his eyes, or NOT,
The Akond of Swat?
Does he teach his subjects to roast and bake?
Does he sail about on an inland lake, in a YACHT,
The Akond of Swat?
Some one, or nobody, knows I wot
Who or which or why or what
Is the Akond of Swat!
